7 Things Parents Should Never Force Kids To Do in Childhood
Learn those 7 things that parents should never impose on their kids. These make kids emotionally strong.
“Children are not clay toys, they must be understood with love.”
Parenting can be very hard, particularly when we feel like what we’re doing is the best for their future. Yet at times, we get so caught up in our good intentions that we go ahead and make decisions about children that can prove to be toxic to their emotional well-being.
Here, we will discuss 7 things parents should never impose on their children. Such as forcing them to eat, requesting them to hug, or discounting their emotions—all these can take a toll on their self-esteem and emotional health.
You will understand how to respond positively under such circumstances and how to get them to realize without disobeying them. Because ultimately, we all wish for our children to grow up well-adjusted, confident, and emotionally robust.
1. Never Force Kids to Eat When They’re Not Hungry
Why mealtime battles can create lifelong food issues
If we fight with children about food every day, it hurts their eating habits. When we force children to eat, it hurts them, due to which children lead to food anxiety or eating disorders from childhood.
A healthy relationship with food is formed when children decide for themselves what they want to eat and how much they should eat. When we put pressure on children to eat, if they do not finish their meal, they will not get to watch TV. So children take eating as a punishment and not as a source of enjoyment.
The difference between picky eating and genuine hunger cues
Every child becomes a picky eater at some point or another – especially toddlers. But picky eating and not feeling hungry are two different things.
If children are refusing to eat a specific food, it can only mean that they do not like the texture or smell of the food, but if children have recently eaten something and are tired, it can be that they are not really hungry, so they should not be forced to eat.
Parents should understand that their child is not hungry all the time and there are different phases in their growth, in which sometimes children feel hungry and sometimes not hungry, so we should pay attention to this too.
Better strategies: offer healthy choices, not ultimatums
Instead of saying, “If you don’t eat this, you won’t get chocolate,” you can say, “Today there are two options for dinner – roti sabzi or dal chawal, which do you like?”
This way you are giving them autonomy – which builds both their decision-making and confidence.
Eating should be a positive experience – where the family sits together, is relaxed, and there is a pressure-free environment. When children see that the food is being enjoyed, they will naturally be interested in it.
2. Never insist that children offer forceful physical affection such as hugs or kisses
“The education of consent starts at home.“ It is a straightforward line, but its effect lasts a lifetime. Numerous times our relatives or parents want a child to kiss or hug a person for emotional reasons, irrespective of whether he likes it or not. But we should consider: if we do not teach them respect for other people’s personal space from their childhood days, how will they realize that their desires also count in any relationship?
The concept of consent grows up from childhood:
If we educate children that their body belongs to them and they can choose whether to touch someone or not, we secure them and make them confident. When their “no” is respected, they also learn to respect other people’s “no“.
Forced affection can confuse boundaries:
When we tell them, “Go hug Aunty or she will get angry“, we are telling them that other people’s joy comes before their comfort. This can cause confusion in their adult relationships—you never know when to hug and when not to.
Here are some positive ways to demonstrate love:
-Let children make choices: “Do you want to wave or shake hands?”
-When they need to hug or kiss, urge them—but don’t push them.
-Make them feel your love and comfort without any strings attached.
This tiny change can be a big one in parenting. Kids need to feel that their bodies are safe and that their desires are honored.
3. Never Force Kids to Be Someone They’re Not
Often parents want their children to become what they wish to become themselves – doctors, engineers, or topper students. However, each child is different, in his personality, interests, and speed. If we compare them with another or set high, unrealistic expectations for them, then their self-confidence begins to shatter.
The comparison does harm alone:
If you keep on saying, “Look how well Sharma ji’s son is doing,” then the child begins to think that I can never be enough. This makes them lose confidence and they begin to doubt themselves.
Eliminate the thought, “My child should be like this…”
Parenting does not imply that we let go of our dream children. Each kid is on his path. When we let go of our expectations from them, they keep their real form – just to please you.
Accept their individuality:
If your kid is an introvert, imaginative, or not very good at maths – it does not matter. He should possess some other features which distinguish him from others. Allow them to experiment, commit errors, and take their direction. Once you value their individuality, their self-esteem and confidence level will increase.
What to do?
-Make efforts to comprehend their strengths and aptitudes
-Maintain open communication without judgment
-Make your expectations elastic
-Acknowledge their minor successes as well
-Let children be what they are, for that is their greatest strength.
4. Never make a child apologize (without knowing)
Most of the time parents or teachers think that if a child does something wrong, he should be made to say “sorry” right away. But have you ever considered the fact that if a child is just saying sorry without knowing, then what is he learning from it? Perhaps nothing.
What is the damage of a forced apology?
When children say sorry without knowing, they say so only to appease others or to escape punishment.
Apologizing in this way never creates empathy (the ability to comprehend the feelings of others).
The child gets to know that “say sorry and finish the issue,” regardless of whether he realizes what he did wrong or not.
How do you train a child for emotional responsibility?
-First, describe the situation in a calm manner – what, why, and how did it impact whom?
-Ask the child: “How did you feel, how did others feel when you did that?”
-Instruct him to understand what impact his actions made on others.
Role-Playing and Reflection as a Way to Learn
-Role-playing is a strong instrument – you can recreate a tiny situation where a child does something wrong and then resolves the issue.
-Speak with the child in reflection: “How would you feel if this had happened to you?”
-When the child knows what he did wrong and why, he says sorry from his heart, and this forms empathy.
Final Thought
It is necessary to apologize, yet it is also necessary to know the meaning of forgiveness. When we educate children in apologizing convincingly, children come to recognize not only words but also feelings and accountability. It is a powerful move in parenting toward emotional intelligence.
5. Do not force children to participate in activities that they do not like
All children are different. All children have different likes and dislikes. Their hobbies are different. Their interests are different. Their dreams are different. But many times parents put a stop to their children’s expectations. They want their children to do what their parents want. If a parent likes sports, he wants his child to become a player. But is the child interested in that? Every parent needs to understand this.
Why are interest-based learning and hobbies important?
When children do something of their choice, they develop a lot of interest in that thing and their confidence also increases. They are naturally interested in learning and moving forward in that thing, which leads to the emotional development of children’s mental development. Whenever something is done with interest, they develop a lot of interest and consistency in it.
What is the long-term result of too much pressure?
-Kids become stressed and anxious.
-They begin thinking of you as weak or unable.
-Enjoyment in any activity goes out the window in this.
-Often kids rebel or lose self-esteem.
Scholarship pressure, pressure to perform in sports, or unwanted painting classes — all of these are affecting children’s overall development. They think their opinion doesn’t count.
Get kids involved: Watch, question, and engage
–Watch what the child has a natural inclination towards. What are they happiest about?
-Ask them open-ended questions — “What do you like?”, “Do you enjoy this?”
-Involve them in decisions — whether it’s picking a hobby, picking a tuition class, or a weekend outing. When their opinion is heard, their trust and engagement both grow.
Knowing the preferences of children and their comfort level is extremely crucial for their development. When they are given liberty in their choices, they get motivated to be the best possible version of themselves.
6. Do not make children happy all the time
Parents often believe that if the child is angry or sad, then something is wrong. That is why we keep telling them: “Smile”, “Why are you so angry?“, or “It is a small thing, ignore it!” This is one of the manifestations of toxic positivity.
Toxic positivity is the expectation that we are supposed to be positive all the time, without realizing that negative feelings are also necessary. By teaching children that only happiness is the correct feeling, they begin bottling up their actual feelings.
Allow children to experience feelings:
-If they are crying, allow them to cry.
-If they are angry, hear them out – without scolding or judging.
-When they are angry, sit with them and speak to them gently to ensure their feelings are real.
What is emotional validation?
Emotional validation means – recognizing their feelings and not minimizing or misinterpret them. When you say, “I know you felt bad, and that’s okay,” a child understands that his or her feelings are important.
How can you help?
Kids learn their feelings by observing you. If you learn to manage your anger or respond calmly even when you are exhausted, they learn the same. This is referred to as modeling emotional regulation.
-Kids must learn that:
-All feelings are okay.
–It’s essential to know and express feelings.
-It is essential to be joyful, but it is impossible to be joyful all the time.
7. Never force your career or life choices
Every parent has a dream since childhood that their child should become successful, a great person, make a very good career and move forward in life. But many times this dream becomes very dominating and the parents’ expectations become much higher than the children’s, which puts a lot of pressure on the children – whether they want to become a doctor, engineer, or any other “secure” job.
Ambitions of new generations are different
Thinking of every generation is different. Today’s children’s thinking is not just about money. They also want to follow their passion which includes flexibility and mental peace. And you would like your child to do a government job as a parent but it is possible that he wants to go into things like music, sports etc.
When career stress becomes excessive, kids experience burnout or rebellion.
When the parents imposingly get involved in their career or life choices without their consent, children develop resentment and anxiety. They opt for a track sometimes just to live up to expectations, but emotionally they get drained. Conversely, some children also revolt against the pressure – as a result of which parent-child relationship begins to decline.
Support, guide and plan future together is a must
Parents should be a guide, not a dictator. Attempt to understand children – what are their strengths, what are they naturally inclined towards. Sit with them and talk to them about career choices, let them have time and space to discover. When a child senses that his desires are being honored, he gets more energized and takes responsibility for his own choices.
Conclusion:
Parenting is a delicate dance between guidance and respect. By letting go of control in these seven key areas, you empower your child to grow into a confident, emotionally intelligent adult. Remember, what kids need most isn’t perfection—it’s connection, understanding, and room to grow. Let’s raise children who feel safe to be themselves.
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